At the end of their lives, people often reflect on their regrets and wish they had done things differently. Many express a desire for more love and forgiveness, and use their last words to show appreciation for the people in their lives. Oncologist Siddhartha Mukherjee recently highlighted these sentiments during a commencement speech at the University of Pennsylvania. Others regret not doing enough for themselves, according to Bronnie Ware, author of “The Top Five Regrets of the Dying.” Ware, a former palliative care worker, spent eight years working with people battling serious illnesses, many of which were fatal. She listened to the guilt and remorse expressed by these individuals on their deathbeds, and believes there is a valuable lesson to be learned from their experiences.
The five most common regrets that Ware encountered in her work are:I wish I had lived a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.I wish I had expressed my feelings.I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.I wish I had allowed myself to be happier.The most frequent regret that Ware encountered was not living a life true to oneself.”When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled,” Ware wrote. “Most people had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.” She advises against sacrificing personal dreams and desires to fulfill the expectations of others, as this often leads to a lifetime of regret.
Another common regret that Ware observed was working too hard. A recent Harris Poll found that 78% of U.S. workers are leaving vacation time on the table and overextending themselves in their professional lives. Prioritizing work above all else can make it difficult to maintain mental health and relationships. Microsoft co-founder Bill Gates emphasized the importance of nurturing relationships and taking breaks to celebrate successes and recover from losses in a commencement speech at Northern Arizona University. Gates shared that he did not realize the significance of work-life balance until he became a parent, and urged others not to wait as long as he did to learn this lesson.
Ware emphasizes the importance of prioritizing personal happiness and staying true to oneself. Many individuals do not realize the significance of these factors until it is too late. She notes that happiness is a choice and encourages people to consciously, wisely, and honestly choose happiness in their lives. By investing time and attention in relationships, prioritizing personal interests, and staying true to oneself, individuals can achieve greater life satisfaction and happiness. It is crucial to make these choices deliberately and consciously to avoid regrets in the future.
For individuals looking to improve their communication skills and become more successful and confident communicators, CNBC offers an online course on effective communication and public speaking. The course covers techniques to speak clearly and confidently, calm nerves, understand body language, and make a great first impression. Additionally, signing up for CNBC Make It’s newsletter provides tips and tricks for success at work, with money, and in life. By taking steps to prioritize personal happiness, nurture relationships, and make conscious choices in life, individuals can avoid regrets and lead fulfilling and satisfying lives.
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